Mosquitoes (What insecticide works with these critters?)

All i could think of last night was mosquitoes, and what man did to deserve the wrath of these annoying little cowards that wait till you are inactive, distracted or asleep to suck your hard earned sweetened blood out through your skin that has taken years of vaseline and lotion to make that smooth.

A cocky mosquito

Do they realise that the salt, meat, pizzas, soda, beer and other assorted items that make your blood so sweet do not come cheap? I would like to see them try to purchase these items and mix them to get a product that would be as sweet as my blood.

Why not just buy a net you ask? i’ll tell you why. Mosquito, fishing and other related nets make me extremely claustrophobic. There is something about being enclosed by a semi solid fabric that makes me turn into a mass of shivering, sweaty flesh. Kinda explains why i don’t find fishnet stockings hot. I know, i’m weird, sue me.

Why do these critters have to show off their prowess by making that whiny sound as they circle your head awaiting clearance to land on a prime spot on your person? I can almost picture them with their straws singing along to Ludacris’ “one more drink” while drunkenly trying to maintain their flight path all the while escaping those Doom arrows that seem to be less powerful as depicted in the advert. (This statement does in no way reflect the amount of alcohol consumed by the author of this post.)

Anyway, as i was laying there trying to ignore the mosquito party going on above the covers, I tried to equate mosquitoes to people we have in our lives. We all know that one person who sits back as you work your ass of on project AbC123 only to come nyakua it the minute you are done. These people are usually very good at announcing to the world that they accomplished Project AbC123 while they do not even know what it consists of. Their biggest contribution was removing your name from the project and inserting theirs.

We have that friend that stays around only cause you have a certain “value add” in their lives. The minute that changes, they are gone faster than you can say “Louis the Pest”. I have a friend that lived in the same area as i did back in the day. Now this dude was your kawaida msee wa mtaa with Dreams and Ambitions of making it big one day. Fortunately, he actually made it as one of the big acts of his time with a few singles that made people Ruka juu etc. Naturally women were attracted to this jamaa like moths to a pressure lamp huko ocha.

As we all know, the guy that attracts women like he is a magnet in a bucket of nails, always has alot of mafans in terms of his ‘boys’ around him. This case was no different. The guy would get called up to every hanyee that would be around. Everyone who decided to throw a house warming for their new SQ huko Makutano JUnction would hakikisha the jamaa ako inside kwa hiyo bash like a certain stringy piece of apparel appends itself between two mounds at the back of our fairer species.

This went on for a while until the mjamaa was chomwad by that Chloride Exide powered bright light and decided he is going to be of the cross. Yani he got saved from the murky waters that are sin.
Ghafla bin Vuu, a guy was left hanging like washed clad on a cloudy day. Alijipata ako Solo kama Jason DeRulo. With no swarms of women around him, value yake iligo negative. No one wanted to buy him a patco let alone a Novida inspite of them oshaing him with products from the streams of Ruaraka when he was the Chipo magnet.

My question is, how do you get rid of these mafans that are only here for the better? Is there a method that proves to be the ultimate Ridsect that does not include you being cast aside like a bone after the bashment is done? How can you avoid these kind of hanger-on’s that have as much value add as a Beef distributor in New Delhi?

Is there an insecticide that works on these critters?

Now Playing: – Just A Band – Kaa Ridho

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3 responses to “Mosquitoes (What insecticide works with these critters?)

  1. Its never hard to know these kinds of pests-friends…they are very easy to single out….veery easy!!! You can never fail to know a mosquito is around , your ears cant miss the buzz!!! Lakini first of all “Alijipata ako Solo kama Jason DeRulo” bwahaha!

  2. i was so waiting for you to dive into the anatomy of male mosquitoes lol!…nice change of events.i don't think there is a way of getting rid of them…stay focused..do you n they will fall off somewhere along the way.and fishnet stockings rock,be sure!

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